Here’s to Third Year

Prepare for the worst and expect the best. Around this time every year, I find myself losing sleep over the beginning of school. I lay sleepless in bed, quietly repeating this mantra as if Big Brother were watching. School is hard. Work is hard. Life is hard. But the worst part isn’t the assignments or readings or obnoxious students. It’s actually going to school. Once I’m there, note taking is a breeze. I can stay awake, no problem. Walking across campus? It takes me 8 minutes flat. But actually leaving my house to do all of this? Yeah, you got me.

The 2 hour bus/subway ride, the heavy school bag, snow laden streets and crowded walkways disinterest me. It sounds stupid, I know, but getting there is the hardest part. The effort put into school work has nothing on the effort put into actually going. Everyone has there school struggles, this one’s mine. While most people put blood, sweat and tears into getting 4.0’s and scholarships, I invest mine in attendance. I’d rather write a weeks worth of essays than show up to a weeks worth of class. I’ve asked myself why this is and it boils down to one easy answer: because it’s easier. It’s easier to read a few books, do some research and develop a thesis than to actually get dressed, leave the house and stay for the 3 hour lectures.

And honestly, the lectures are the best part. You can sit next to your best friend or that really hot guy from tutorial. You’re in the presence of world renown thinkers, actually listening to their thoughts and hearing it from their lips. My campus is in the middle of downtown, which I gladly commute to on non school days. So why do I find it so hard to sit there?

Probably because it’s so overwhelming. So much information, not enough ink. Which part of the lecture will be on the test? Which quote should I mention in my essay? Wait, what did he say about that thing about Nietzche?

But, this doesn’t bother me. I love overcrowding my mind with information. I love to be overwhelmed. Dare I say it, I actually love class and school work and projects.

So why am I so unwilling? Disclaimer: I rarely ever skip class. Only when it’s more effiecient, i.e. an essay is worth more than attendance so use your time wisely. But, I’ve just realized that the reason I dread school is not because of the content or mental stimuli, but because of the 5 am wake up calls and 11 pm walks from the bus stop to home. Regardless of how interesting my lectures are (bless being an english major), sleeping in sounds way more tempting.

This is a huge realization for me because I used to blame my lack of motivation on the academic difficulty when really I’m just a lazy bum. Knowing this now, I refuse to sound like a complaining couch potato. Hustle girl, because you’ve got this.