Hey y’all it’s your town crier and I’m back with some here ye here ye shit. It’s been a hellish month straight out of a Steinbeck novel. 130 million Americans (basically HALF the american population) are considered to have a pre-existing condition. Time for us to be Tom Joad’s disciples and handle this shit. If there was ever a good time to use your voice, I ‘d say now is pretty good….Anyways, a lot of shit has gone down recently. Riri’s got a new gajillionaire beau, Sofia Coppola has a new film coming out, and I still can’t get a text back. Tomorrow’s the first of July so here’s a quick recap of the past four weeks:
Who to follow: If you’re a 90’s kid or attune to ~vintage~ pop culture, than you know all about porcelain princess Rose. But this clear complexioned, full-lipped fantasy is the answer to our hail-mary prayers. What has our beloved been up to since since bewitchin’ and bebitchin’ on charmed? Not much, other than unapologetically advocating women’s rights by exposing the pussy-grabbing industry that is hollywood. Also, she has a book coming out next year (read this as if it were typed in caps-lock). Rose, our sleeves are rolled up with you … @rosemcgowanarts @rosemcgowan follow back??
this photo is biblical 🙏
what to buy: the nasty hands
This hand lotion does more than moisturize. Fight back the shit show that is the current political atmosphere when purchasing one of these!! all net proceeds are donated to support educational rights, reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, equal legal representation, and more. You can choose who to help at checkout. Results include supple and resistant hands.
what to read:
Orwell, baby, I know you’re rolling in your grave right now, but at least you get to say I told you so (???)…our little boy blue is out here desensitizing the masses by pissing on any room for interpretation. Our in-(white)house conservative public polemicist wants to numb our cerebral cortexes into oblivion. Spicerspeak: “The point is to show definiteness and to discourage any reaction besides Yes! or No!”
Raury Demonstrates Revolution At Dolce&Gabbana SS18 Show
I AM NOT YOUR SCAPEGOAT was written on Raury’s chest while marching down the D&G SS18 runway. The theme of the show was #boycottD&G, the Italian fashionhouse’s attempt at revolution. Instead, they made of mockery of Movement, capital M. Sorry boys, but a hashtag doesn’t make you an activist. Just like buying a $400 Dior “We Should All Be Feminists” shirt doesn’t make you a feminist.
Teens Are Fucking Less But Spreading STI’s More
Sex-ed has always been a marmite topic for me. not because of ~ooou sex~ but because of the political/educational ramifications. Sex-ed is either commissioned by religious intentions of knee length skirts and immaculate conceptions or a half-assed attempt by seemingly concerned, alt-left wannabes. But, it turns out that kids do pay attention in class: Just 42% of females aged 15 to 19 say they’ve had sex, compared with 51% in 1988. And those who are hooking up are using their brains (lol): 99% of teen girls used a form of contraception from 2011 to 2015. Shout out to our forefathers! who were fucking more while us millennials are out here dealing with the economic hangover they initiated. I digress. So why is that the youths account for more than “1 in 5 new HIV infections, and half of the new STIs reported each year occur among youth 15 to 24?” @malcolmgladwell can you crack this one?
Good News/Bad News: DAPL Stopped Being A Thing, But Is Still A Thing
Remember that one time (june 14th to be exact) Federal Judge James Boasberg served a hot plate of justice by spitting facts of DAPL violating environmental and sociopolitical rights. But don’t get your panties wet because drilling has been going on for a monthish now and it’s not going to stop. The Energy Tranfer Partners aka the pipeline’s owner, is under investigation of using “military-style counterterrorism measures” against NoDAPL protesters is now monitoring another ETP pipeline project in Pennsylvania. fuckin assholes….
Amazon Is The Favorite Child Your Mother Never Had
Corporate ex machina, Amazon, tightens our chains by adopting the Warby Parker/Le Tote business model with ~Prime Wardrobe~. With services like Postmates and the many purposes of Prime, you never have to leave the house again!! Have fun ubereatsing pho wearing your new black suede mules. And now with Whole Foods sitting pretty on their roster, is there anything Amazon can’t have??
I’ve been jamming to these groo0o00vy tunes:
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