October 2016: The one in which I dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen for Halloween and realized I have an affinity for things I can’t have.

Podcasts

Lore: addicted to this podcast like lohan was addicted to cocaine circa 2007. Aaron Mahnke discusses dark historical tales that influence modern superstitions/folklore we’re familiar with today. Mahnke’s a natural-born storyteller who fuses history and folklore into something hypnotically chilling.

Slumber Party: You know how some people look like a Sarah, talk like a Sarah, ARE a Sarah? Well this podcast walks, talks and is a slumber party. Apart from being aptly named, Alie and Georgia are the best friends you never had. Every episode features a guest star – who’s most likely also a comedian – and have simple, entertaining BANTER.

Music

Mala by Devandra Banhart: more like BanHEART ammiright ladies? This album puts me in a mood. Mi Negrita is my favorite track, right above Golden Girls, Cristobal Risquez and Hatchet Wound. He sings in multiple tongues, as the title of the album has a multitude of meanings: “I chose the title, Mala, because of its malleability, plasticity and ubiquitous nature. It’s in so many different languages. In Gaelic it means ‘plastic bag’, in Hindu it means ‘prayer bead’, in Italian it means ‘gangster’, in Serbian it means ‘little’ and so on. I was like, my God I want to find a word like this word. And that word was the most like that word I could find. Also, it’s a pretty word.”

Dead Man’s Bones: Every October since 2008, Ryan Gosling’s band is on constant repeat. It’s haunting and chilly but also upbeat and playful. He features the Silverlake Conservatory of Music Children’s Choir which A) is hella cute and B) emphasizes the spook factor.

Internet

This months theme was, unintentionally, art. I don’t know much about art, but what I do know, is that I can’t afford it. The irony. Anyway, I discovered these favorites through Instagram (oh the irony, but of a different kind), and thank god scrolling is free.

Greatartinuglyrooms: fucking genius. True to it’s namesake, this feed features great art in ugly rooms. Imagine a Cezanne in a run-down, rusty kitchen. God, the fucking irony.

Gill Button: I want her portrait of Hedi Slimane, but no more than I want of her portraits.

Frederic Forest: I stumbled onto his sketch Hands, Etude, and instantly hit that follow. Next thing I need to do is hit that add-to-cart. Clean lines and simple silhouettes, this guy is my kind of guy.

Reading

I’m irrevocably behind on all my academic readings. I wish I could say it’s because I’ve been reading the books on my personal syllabus, but I haven’t. I haven’t even cracked the spine of Sweetbitter yet…. Anyways, I did glaze through this Taschen book on Magritte. This coffee table textbook on my favorite artist (of like all time ever!!!!) is the closest thing I’ll get to owning something by him.Who remember’s the Opening Ceremony x Vans x Rene Magritte Collab? Well, I can never fucking forget it because I totally missed out. You already know I still browse e-bay for a quick cop.

Fashion

Asos jeans: My denim collection is comin’ up roses, baby. I’ve been loving the whole patch thing lately, but not enough to open arms, slow run, fully adopt it. This pair is subtle and subdued in both wash and patchwork. A dark grey, fitted denim, with a single rose on each side can be hidden or exposed, depending on your top. Remember, the devil is in the details only when the details

Zara dress: On most people, this is a midi dress. On me, it borders straight up religious-wear. That’s totally fine because I imagine Mary-Kate Olsen would have a plethora of dark knit sweater dresses that cover 97% of the body. It’s pretty rebellious, by being the complete antithesis of rebellion.  What’s weird is that it makes me feel totally sexy – you know, in a chaste, school girl way. Add a pair Celine sunnies and pointed toe booties, and you’ll be totally unapproachable!

Beauty and Wellness

Manuka Honey: I eat this stuff with a spoon. I rub it all over my on my face. I melt it on toast and in tea. I’d snort it if I could. Thank New Zealand for harvesting these little pots of gold and the little bees for pollinating the manuka bush. What makes this stuff special than the bottles of generic honey bears is it medicinal super powers; it’s practically witchcraft.  Its antimicrobial properties heal wounds, repair cells and strengthen skin.

Shiseido Cotton Pads: Don’t buy these because you’ll never stop paying $12 for cotton pads ever again.

Chantecaille Future Skin: a pot of this stuff costs about a cc of my reproductive eggs. I’ll sell them all, along with my soul and dignity, for this stuff. Worth is self-inflicted, after all. I find describing this product with true justice a difficult feat. We all know the it cosmetics cc cream is my favorite face product (on my fourth tube!!!) and it’s my first, older, trusted child. But this is my new baby (well the astronomically TINY sample) and I love it. I don’t know which child I love more. Like my eggs, if I were to sell a metaphorical child of mine, I’m not sure which one I’d let go of for the other. So I treat them like twins; I refer to them as the olsen twins of my medicine cabinet.

On my radar

Celine phoebe philo jade green suede pumps: I’ve wanted these since my pre-paycheque days. Imagine the pubescent me, bespectacled and acne ridden, lusting over these gemstone babies. My only source of income was birthday money and Christmas cash, keeping these stuck in the realm of impossibility. So when I grew up, learned how to save, and actually wore heels, Phoebe Philo decides to leave Céline, and therefore, me and my broken heart. Flash-forward to now, when my pathetic ass practically stalks Vestiare Collective, The Real Real, Ebay, etc. FOR A PAIR OF SHOES.

Dior Patent Buckle Shoes: these taught me that love at first sight is totally REAL and POWERFUL and LIFE  ALTERING. What’s worse than love? Not being able to have it. Along with those Magritte Vans and Celine suede pumps, these are hard to come by. But, I will own these. I will own these. I will own these. See, I’ve made a mantra that will manifest itself by the sheer power of attraction.